Lately I have been spending a lot of time in abstract spaces, like dreaming about what I could achieve or playing with big concepts like becoming a millionaire off minimum wage but I am aware that there are many realities we face that can push against these. Today I wanted to share several spaces in my life where I have experienced this clash lately and how I respond to it.
Dreams vs Qualifications
One great example of this collision is when I think about the future and start to take physical steps towards wherever I want to be. Most people can bear with people talking about dreams, but when it comes to physically working towards them then suddenly there is more resistance. Let me explain it through a story!
Last Monday my fiancé and I were both off work. She wasn’t feeling too well, and I had so much annual leave because I was saving it for our wedding in May 2020 but it didn’t happen, so I have decided to take Mondays off for several months to bring it down. I came over to spend the day with her and we ended up going for a light walk. It was so nice not having to work and being able to hang out with her anywhere between 9 – 5, and I said to her, “I wouldn’t mind living like this everyday!”.
From here we started chatting about our future a bit more. Her dream was always to make it into an accounting firm, which she had achieved, but now she was thinking forward to becoming a Chartered Accountant (CA) since that’s naturally the next step paved out for an accountant. In fact, one of her main reasons for staying in her current role was because they paid for the CA qualification. Although I am not in a traditional accountant role, I also have the option of studying CA and I naturally had to weigh this up too. I shared with her where I was at with this option, which is that I feel like it might not be worth my time because being very honest, I’m not passionate about it. Her response was “You would be wasting the opportunity, especially since work is paying for the qualification.”
I didn’t argue with that point, because yes it would be a financial blessing to have the course paid for, but we all know that it isn’t just about money. Most paths we pursue in life will also require a sacrifice of time, energy and focus. So when weighing up whether to study for CA or not, I still feel like it would not be worth the time and effort I would have to pour into it even if it was free. Also, this isn’t because I am lazy and don’t want to do it, but more because I don’t want to become a CA at the cost of not pursuing things that I am actually passionate about. The next comment she made is “You should still be increasing your knowledge, because I don’t think you can advance without studying.”
Once again I agreed because this is a very wise point, the difference is that I don’t want to study for a role. I started talking about how I want to do more than just work in a 9 – 5 specialized role, till the point that I said “I wouldn’t even want to be a director or CEO, I want more”. It sounds like I just want to be the best that ever existed to the point that it’s arrogant, but the more we talked the more I explained that it’s not about being ‘above’ these people in roles but it’s all about living a different lifestyle. In my perspective, CEO’s still trade time for money, and although Directors Salaries are huge, they are still capped by their own input. So yes I will obtain knowledge and study, but it is not for a qualification required to work a certain role. She did well to listen, and eventually said “well, I guess you’re just very brave and courageous. I don’t think I would want to take that risk”.
I acknowledge that it’s not easy to accept these concepts, and so I am super grateful that my fiancé had the strength to trust in me even though everything within her naturally goes against the path I want to take. Within these collisions I always remind myself that the relationships I have are just as important as my goals (especially when it’s the woman I’m going to marry!), and so I ensure to connect with empathy. I told her I wasn’t going to quit my job, I was still going to marry her, I would keep looking after myself and not drop anything that is valuable.
Freedom vs Work & Bills
Another scenario where the important abstract parts of my life started to clash with reality was when I shared some of my thoughts with some work colleagues. It was the 28th July 2020, a Tuesday so I had just come back from another three day weekend. On the Monday the day before, I woke up not having to do anything and had full control of my time and after a couple hours I thought to myself “Yep, this is the life I want to live”. I also spent some time thinking about how there were more and more costs popping up like insurance, rates, electricity bills and so on and I didn’t like how it was restricting my financial freedom to live however I wanted. I shared all these thoughts with a fellow workmate and said “I’m not happy with the way this world is slowly restricting me and I’ve decided I’m going to break out of that way of living!”. They started laughing and said “So you’re just going to not pay your bills? that will go down nicely when the council approaches you”.
I didn’t take it personally, but I was surprised at the lack of their understanding in what I was saying and I started to question whether I was thinking too deeply. Obviously I am aware that bills need to be paid and so on, but why can’t others think further than just simply accepting that ‘that’s how life goes’ and try to create a lifestyle where you don’t feel the restrictions of bills? I have already had experiences where a deeper thought life drives completely different outcomes than what the world tells us, for example how my fiancé and I dreamt about owning a house within a year even though most mortgage brokers rejected us and said come back in 3 years. That’s just one of several experiences I have had and I believe there is still a lot more to come! Also, just because I set my eyes on things so big and far into the future, it does not mean that I have lost sight of all the realities of the present. Okay, I am starting to rant now, but I hope you can see the colliding worlds I experience in this journey of mine.
So in conclusion, the first collision I shared was with a close loved one who simply had a different view on how to best progress forward in life. Those might not always be the most comfortable discussions, because it’s all fun and games when it’s purely dreams but when action and decisions are made due to the dreams it can be scary for anyone that doesn’t see the future like you do. I am grateful that I have a fiancé who knows me well and trusts me even when I sound a bit crazy, because I acknowledge that it’s not easy for those on the other side of this equation too! The second collision I shared was with the reality of work plus bills and a dream of complete freedom. As I experience the reality of work and bills, and those around me that have fully accepted this lifestyle, I find it harder to hold on to my goals of creating a more financially free future. In these clashes I have made sure I don’t take to heart the opinions of those settling in places I don’t want to be, and have given myself reminders to be grateful for what I have done already.
Key Points:
- Dreams are harder for others to accept once they start impacting decisions.
- Don’t take to heart opinions of those settling in places you don’t want to be.
